Halibut Cove Aug 7 2014 005The other day I was listening to KBBI AM890, Homer’s public radio station, and Terry Gross was interviewing a famous person I’d never heard of. She kept asking if he still did this or that, still liked this or that. He was really sweet about it. He kept saying yes. “Yes, I still do that . . . I still like that,” instead of saying, like I would want to, “Why are you asking me that? Do you think maybe I wouldn’t still? Like maybe I made a mistake and now don’t still? Or I’m too old to still?”

Anyway, I got to thinking that I would assess my life according to whether I still do or still don’t whatever it is. I decided this would be as good a way as any as determining my overall satisfaction with life. So here goes.

I am still dissatisfied with the way I look. Nothing has gotten better. Go figure. I mean, after all, I am approaching the new 50, and I’ve never had a good jaw line. Still I don’t get my hair dyed; still I do wear it short. Still prefer winter clothes to summer. Better to cover the upper arms, you know.

I am still afraid of heights, public speaking, sharks, and dentists. I’m getting better about doctors. Good thing, that.

I still love thinking about words, knowing where they came from, knowing what they mean, figuring out the best one for a sentence.

I still have an aversion to strong perfume and whatever that’s called for men. Same thing with most scented candles, though some – the ones that are obscenely expensive – are nice. Just not at the dinner table. I still despise hair spray and frying anything. Gives me cold chills.

I still love art, loathe tacky and over-sized or faux anything.

I still love music, live or listened to at performance level. All kinds of music, but especially rock and roll, Americana, alt country. Still love to dance. Still prefer that with a guy, though here in my work studio, solo, I can get down.

I still love cats, and have come to understand that this means I tolerate a lot of things from a cat that I wouldn’t in other creatures, including humans. Still I am one of a very few people in Homer who do not have a dog.

I still love to have company in my home, still love to talk, though now I love listening more.

I am still single, coming up to the seventh anniversary of when all that started. Still like seeing a guy in a bow tie. Still like to see a guy with a beard, but not the extra-long kind that suggests religious fundamentalism. Still really don’t like that.

I still love everyone I’ve ever loved. Family, friends, husbands, and a few guys that for a while were sweethearts. Memory goes way back. Way back.

I am still glad I moved to Alaska.

Life is juicy.

Copyright 2014. Genie Hambrick